Your Being, Your Existence: Don't Lose Yourself in Love

 

Your Being, Your Existence: Don't Lose Yourself in Love

Sometimes in relationships, it begins to feel as though our being or not being makes no difference. That to the other person, our presence carries no special significance. That our absence would go unnoticed. To cling to such a relationship—to stay where we are not respected, where our identity is erased—is to compromise our own self-respect.

When Your "Being" Ceases to Matter

Every person has their own existence. Our thoughts, our feelings, our presence—these are what make us unique. When we start to feel in a relationship that our being no longer holds meaning, it is a warning bell. This is not to say that devotion or sacrifice in love is wrong. But there is a fundamental difference between devotion and self-obliteration.

Love, But Not at the Cost of Yourself

True love is when two whole individuals choose to walk together. It is not a union of two halves. Love that requires completely losing oneself, dissolving into the other, will one day turn bitter. Because a person who cannot love themselves, how can they truly receive love from another?

The Hallmarks of a Respectful Relationship

In a healthy relationship:

·         Your absence is felt

·         Your opinion holds value

·         Your feelings are respected

·         Your existence is acknowledged, not negated

Recognize Your Own Worth

If you feel that in a relationship your presence or absence is the same, the first step is to ask yourself: "Have I learned to live with dignity?" Sometimes we give so much importance to others that we forget ourselves. Relationships are only meaningful when they help you grow, not diminish you.

In the End

To love is one of humanity's most beautiful qualities, but this love should not come at the cost of self-forgetting. Be in any relationship wholeheartedly, but remember—your own existence, your own identity comes first. Where that identity begins to fade, pause and reflect. Because in a relationship where your "being" does not matter, your "staying" has no meaning either.

True love is that which makes you better, which polishes your existence—not erases it.